Setting the PACE...

So it's been a while since I've posted... I've learned a lot by my own life experiences and by reading a few dating articles here and there.

The one thought that has resonated with me lately is allowing the man be the man.  There are times where the woman will get frustrated because they are not comfortable about the certainty of where a relationship may be headed. 

Hindsight, vision is truly 20/20.  If a guy is interested, you know.  He calls, he texts, he emails, and he wants to know when the next time he will see you.  If a guy is not interested, you know too.  He doesn't call, text, or email.  There is that silence.  Fortunately for me, I haven't really had to deal with too much of that scenario.   Nevertheless, the signs are there.  If he's not into you, he's not into you!  See the signs.  I think girls get antsy if they like the guy and the guy doesn't return the feeling.  So she ends up calling, texting, etc.  It's no good!  Such a turn off for many men.  So, don't do it!  Just move on!

When I'm not interested in a guy, I get turned off too when they call, text, or emails too much.  But I do the dutiful thing by letting the guy know right away that I am not intersted.  So there is no mystery with me.  Only a few times have I just "disappeared" and not responded at all.  A lot of times, guys don't know how to handle that situation in reverse.   They still pick up that phone call or texts girls back randomly.  Why do that?  Seriously...   Be clear & concise.  It prevents a messy situation in the future.

I'm no saint in all this.  I've made my share of mistakes of returning texts or picking up calls when I was not interested just because I was bored.  I've learned over time that in the long run, it's better to cut your loses early.  I've dragged on relationships or dates for that matter because I enjoyed the attention or because I didn't want to deal with the "break up" talk.  But in the end, if there is no future, what good is that momentary pleasure?

I've learned a lot.  Mostly to let the guy set the pace in the relationship.  Yes, there are times where the girls gives a guy an ultimatum and they married happily ever after.  Yes, there are times when the girl sets the pace and it turned out fine.  But my beliefs is to let man be the man... if it's going too fast, as a women you can put on the breaks.  But a woman can not rush a man to feel any different than what he currently does.

I say enjoy the dating process, have fun, and you never know... you will meet that Mr. Right when least expected!  Dating is about meeting new people, trying new things, and learning to grow in how we relate to other people out there.  There will be MANY failed dates before you meet the right one, so why not have fun in the process?  With this new outlook, I was able to meet people of various backgrounds.  While I know someone amazing is out there for me, I'm going to enjoy life and the thing called "dating!"