Thursday, October 7, 2010
I had to have this conversation about 2 months ago with Mr. Paper Perfect. He appreciated my honesty, but I felt so sick in the stomach afterwards. I've never had that type of conversation until that night.
I am planning on having this type of conversation with Mr. Young very soon. I tried. I gave it what I could give him...and I realized that it will never work. He deserves so much more than what I can give him now. We are from 2 different worlds.... 2 different life stage that I can't imagine being satisfied. (He doesn't have enough to offer to the life I have now and the relationship experience to make me feel fulfilled.) If I was 5 years younger, I would have the time to pursue it...and we'd be on a more similar page. But the reality is ... I'm 5 years older, not much time to explore or wait.
He needs more life experience for me to feel connected to him and have that understanding...and to be honest we are missing that. He is sweet and good. He is doing everything to progress this relationship forward and have invited me to meet his older brother. (Sigh) We have amazing physical chemistry, but we all know we need more than that to build a future. Therefore, I must do what I must before I get in too deep. I pray he will forgive me... to disappoint or hurt someone in this way is one of the hardest thing to do. I hope I won't have to do this again for a loooooooong time.
scribbled by tk at 2:32 PM