The Dating Game: Mr. Text

So I must have been out of the dating scene for a quite a while because the dating game has completely changed.  Instead of calling, boys now just text you.  UGH!  I was so annoyed the first few times and when I hear stories of guys asking girls if they have facebook... more UGH!  Really?  My rule is if I'm just dating you, I won't be your facebook friend.  If you want to be just friends, sure why not?

I give an online guy my number for him to call me last week, instead I get a text:

Hi, This is Mr. Text.  I just wanted to drop u a line and say hello.  Hope your day is going well, ttyl.

Seriously?  I mean, might as well continue emailing me if you are going to text me.  Sigh.  As you can tell, I just don't respond well to texts as initial form of phone conversation.  PICK UP THE PHONE!!!  This is an advice to all guys: we want to have a real conversation, hear your voice, so please dial the number, not text some stupid greeting.

Perhaps it's just me that feels this way because I was venting to a group of girlfriends and they said that's just how it is now.  More sigh~  I mean, really???

SO NOW, I either have to adapt to this new dating rule or continue to blow off guys that chooses to text over calling.  I am soooo annoyed.

Have you met someone who chooses to text over phone all the time?

Going the Distance

I really liked this movie.  It's funny, it's quirky, it's very fantasy!  I wanted to watch it thinking that perhaps I might get into a long distance relationship... and a friend of mine is also possibly going to venture into this front!

I've never been in a long distance relationship beyond an one hour drive so I really don't know how it really works.  If two people live on different coast it can be tough!  3 hour difference.  If I'm in LA, and he is let's say in NY... I get on the phone at 9pm, it's already 12am for them!  UGH.  I feel bad for the East Coaster more b/c they'd be staying up late just to have a late night chat. 

I've "talked" to people in different time zones and let me tell you, it's not easy.  Trying to catch them at the right time to chat... what a pain!  At the end of the day, IF that person is WORTH it I suppose we'd all venture such a duty... as of yet, I have not met someone worth that effort (which in ways is a blessing to me).  But who knows, I may be eating my words later....

Have you had a long distance relationship and did it work for you?

Mr. Hypothetical

It's fun to run across someone that is really interesting to talk to because they have so much to say. LOL.

So, Mr. Hypothetical loves to pose hypothetical questions and digress into details of the unknown.  He proclaims that he asks a lot of hypothetical questions because it helps him get to know how someone thinks, etc.  Our first conversation was a VERY interesting because we were talking about dreams, subconscious & the conscientious.  Then of course of about honesty, brutal vs. buffer.  I definitely feel like I'm very honest ... but in a sugar coat way.  I don't like to be mean or say things that doesn't need to be said per say.  Especially in a dating situation, I will tell someone that I am not interested by saying that "I did not feel a connection beyond friendship."  I won't straight up tell them WHY.   Because the WHY is very hurtful...such that they were too boring, too crude, too whatever. 

He had a lot to say in detail as he digress into one topic to the next, and many questions as he kept saying: "Okay so let me ask you this..."  followed up with a question that would continue the conversation for many more hours...

Due to so many digressions and such, it ended up being over a 3 hour conversation!!!  Some guys I talk to I can't wait to get off the phone, but he kept on and there really wasn't a moment to say "I gotta go."  It was really late and I was getting tired talking to Mr. H so at some points during the conversation I did zone out...and had to have him repeat himself.  Oooops!  He probably thought I was a ditz!  Haha.  But our talk was intriguing and deep enough that I did not mind being on the phone that long.

His phone ran out of battery which was the only reason I think we stopped talking... or it could have gone all night!  Eeek!  So I don't know what I think about him YET, but nonetheless a very interesting conversationalist.  He did mention how it was very easy to talk to me and I was very articulate.  I hate to hoot my own horn (ok not really), but this has been said to be many times that I'm a good conversationalist which he agreed and gave me a "gold star."   Lol. 

So today I get one gold star... now I'm going to shoot for 100 more!  =)

Have you ever had a conversation so interesting that you didn't think to get off the phone?

Preparing

At this point, let's all be realistic.  The "thing" with Mr. Young will not last.  I'm giving it 2 months top.  Why waste time if he isn't it?  But at the same time, can I tell in two months?  I was able to visit his place this past weekend to get a glimpse of who he is and where he comes from. This "glimpse" made me realize how far apart we really are in life stage.  Made me really sad to think about it all... but I have accept what is...that this has a very short life term.  Why is it that I always seem to meet that great person at the wrong TIME and PLACE?

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Mr. Young: You are a 10 in my book. :)

Sigh.  Doesn't every girl want to be adored?  This is what he does to me... this is why it's hard for me to walk away.  He says the sweetest things and drives so far just to spend a little time with me...  =(

Cute Mr. Young

So, the meet to "talk."

First let me tell you about my very funny roommate.  I wasn't home yet from work and Mr. Young was waiting in his car outside so she kindly let him in.  It was her first time meeting him and this was their initial conversation.

Roommate: Ah...I can see now why my roommate likes you.
Mr. Young: Ummm....Why...?
Roommate: Because you are a cutie.
Mr. Young: ????

OMG.  My roommate is so funny!  Yes and very blunt.  I don't think I'd say it to someone's face, but maybe because she knew how young he was, she felt comfortable to say such a comment.  Or maybe it's just because that's just how my roommate is!  Mr. Young told me this very interesting dialogue and I am sure he was flattered & thoroughly amused at the same time.  Ayayaya.

Anyway, to the serious stuff.  It took me about a week to gather up my thoughts as to what I was going to say to him... and basically I laid it on THICK!  I told him all my reservations, concerns, and realities.  I wanted to scare him so that he knows this is serious stuff...and partial hope of scaring him off so that I won't have to deal with all this.

This is the summary of our talk:
Me: I can't promise you anything at this point and the way I see how things are now I don't see it working out.  I don't know if I can wait 2-3 years.  So I'm open to dating and getting to know each other better, but I am afraid that one or both of us will get hurt.  I don't think you really know what you are getting yourself into.  Can you really say that you are ready for the next step in life?  I have 5 years of experience ahead of you.  You would be sacrificing your youth, your freedom, and your own timeline.  There are added pressures that you would not deal with if you were not dating me (such as marriage, money, and time).  I'm sacrificing waiting for you to be where I am, and you'd be sacrificing your youth.  Sigh.  A lot of sacrifices to be made... is it worth it?  You would have to make some changes in your life that you didn't originally plan if you are really serious about pursuing me.  The fact that I'm 5 years older is serious!  I am afraid that even if it works out that I will have to wait 2-3 years... and not sure if I can right now.

Mr. Young: Your age doesn't bother me... and I've experienced enough.  There are plenty of people who marry younger and have kids.  I really like you from what I know of you now. I don't want to put a time frame, but I don't want to waste your time either.   I guess that's what we have figure out if it's worth it in the long run.   I realize that it is a risk we are taking.  Yes I know we can get hurt, but with risk there are also rewards. Without it, we will never know...

Sigh.  I just don't know why he decided that he wanted this now... and he said it's because he realized how much he missed me and liked me after 3 weeks without me.  More sigh~~~

Logically, rationally, and realistically... I just don't see it working out...b/c of our HUGE life stage difference.  BUT by chance, in the LONG shot it does, don't I deserve to find out???   If he is that person that can forever make me happy, shouldn't I try?   This is MY dilemma.  My rationality behind giving it a shot is that I'm not giving him commitment at this point.  It's open and I can technically date other people if I wanted.  But honestly, will I have time and energy to do that?  Probably not.  So... internally for myself I'm probably going to give myself 2-3 months...til I make a final decision.  This is a VERY tough spot I am in... and I really don't know how it's all going to pan out.  I'm scared, excited, but mostly anxious about the outcome...

Comeback continued...

So I was curious about why he wanted to see me. I guessed that he missed me and wanted to be friends. My friends thought he want more...wanting to date me again. Based on our last conversation, I didn't think that was possible. So my friend & I made a bet. It's the gambler in me- betting at every turn. LOL.

Come the weekend... he wanted to rollerblade... sounded so datish! I had a nervous feeling at the pit of my stomach like it was the first date again. After blading and grabbing a quick bite, he proceeded to have the "talk" with me.

I was shocked by all the words that came out of his mouth... like a bomb that hit me or more like a curve ball. Basically he poured his heart out saying how he missed me and how fortunate he felt to have met someone like me and that he wanted to try to make this relationship work if something fantastic can come out of it. I became numb in the mind as millions of thoughts were racing thru my mind. Basically, he didn't want to live with the what ifs and what could be's if we continued dating. I didn't expect this at all. I expected friendship or closure that he needed by seeing me again. Heart stopped. I was flattered but lost for words...

I quickly scrambled in my mind for words to speak ... to lay the "realities" of our situation. He was years behind in where I am in life. My life was all set for the next big chapter - finding Mr. Right and getting married. He was still working on his school & career. This was a disaster waiting to happen in terms of a timeline for a healthy progression in a relationship. He told me that I didn't have to answer him then that I could think about it. So I decided to think & pray...

The Comeback

So what do you do when a chapter of the book that you thought you closed decided to re-open itself again?

That's the situation that I was faced with one week ago. 4 weeks ago, I had the "talk" with Mr. Young. We had ended things because I couldn't offer commitment and he could not promise me a definite future. In essence, we were in completely different life stage. As much as I liked him and was attracted to him, I accepted that I had to move onto better potential prospects.

A few weeks passed where I did date other people, slowly I started to forget and move on. I had a few disappointments as the month passed... along the way thinking about him wondering... "what if?" What if I was younger... what if he was older...what if he had his shit together?

Then exactly 3 weeks, I get a phone call as my caller ID read: "Mr. Young." What the heck? I didn't know why he was calling when we agreed that it was over and that to avoid future hurts that we would not talk or see each other. I answered the call and it was as if things were the same... Same laughter, same jokes, same comfort. Then, he said that he wanted to see me...

Whaaaaaaaaaat??? Why???