So, the meet to "talk."
First let me tell you about my very funny roommate. I wasn't home yet from work and Mr. Young was waiting in his car outside so she kindly let him in. It was her first time meeting him and this was their initial conversation.
Roommate: Ah...I can see now why my roommate likes you.
Mr. Young: Ummm....Why...?
Roommate: Because you are a cutie.
Mr. Young: ????
OMG. My roommate is so funny! Yes and very blunt. I don't think I'd say it to someone's face, but maybe because she knew how young he was, she felt comfortable to say such a comment. Or maybe it's just because that's just how my roommate is! Mr. Young told me this very interesting dialogue and I am sure he was flattered & thoroughly amused at the same time. Ayayaya.
Anyway, to the serious stuff. It took me about a week to gather up my thoughts as to what I was going to say to him... and basically I laid it on THICK! I told him all my reservations, concerns, and realities. I wanted to scare him so that he knows this is serious stuff...and partial hope of scaring him off so that I won't have to deal with all this.
This is the summary of our talk:
Me: I can't promise you anything at this point and the way I see how things are now I don't see it working out. I don't know if I can wait 2-3 years. So I'm open to dating and getting to know each other better, but I am afraid that one or both of us will get hurt. I don't think you really know what you are getting yourself into. Can you really say that you are ready for the next step in life? I have 5 years of experience ahead of you. You would be sacrificing your youth, your freedom, and your own timeline. There are added pressures that you would not deal with if you were not dating me (such as marriage, money, and time). I'm sacrificing waiting for you to be where I am, and you'd be sacrificing your youth. Sigh. A lot of sacrifices to be made... is it worth it? You would have to make some changes in your life that you didn't originally plan if you are really serious about pursuing me. The fact that I'm 5 years older is serious! I am afraid that even if it works out that I will have to wait 2-3 years... and not sure if I can right now.
Mr. Young: Your age doesn't bother me... and I've experienced enough. There are plenty of people who marry younger and have kids. I really like you from what I know of you now. I don't want to put a time frame, but I don't want to waste your time either. I guess that's what we have figure out if it's worth it in the long run. I realize that it is a risk we are taking. Yes I know we can get hurt, but with risk there are also rewards. Without it, we will never know...
Sigh. I just don't know why he decided that he wanted this now... and he said it's because he realized how much he missed me and liked me after 3 weeks without me. More sigh~~~
Logically, rationally, and realistically... I just don't see it working out...b/c of our HUGE life stage difference. BUT by chance, in the LONG shot it does, don't I deserve to find out??? If he is that person that can forever make me happy, shouldn't I try? This is MY dilemma. My rationality behind giving it a shot is that I'm not giving him commitment at this point. It's open and I can technically date other people if I wanted. But honestly, will I have time and energy to do that? Probably not. So... internally for myself I'm probably going to give myself 2-3 months...til I make a final decision. This is a VERY tough spot I am in... and I really don't know how it's all going to pan out. I'm scared, excited, but mostly anxious about the outcome...